Super Original Story Concept – 2013-2014 Season predictions – Tada

Who the hell doesn’t love a good bit of predicting. I do! You don’t? Then never come back to this website again! Let’s not waste time; after all you’re doing that by reading this, so why draw it out any longer.

 

Team that is absolutely set up to crack under pressure

Denver Nuggets, all the same players…AND THAT ARE IT!

Team that is a quiet threat and shouldn’t be underestimated

Denver Nuggets, all the same players, sure new coach, soooo shut up?

Best head to head match for pure offense and f*ck all for defense

Golden State V. Orlando…weird right?! I think a lot of people would have thought I was going with Washington or Miami, but nah got to go with the Magic here. Oladipo and Harris alone should provide some fun shoot-at-will entertainment, then GSW has Curry and Thompson with Barnes and Iggy is going to be pandemonium!

Best head to head match for pure defense, ah the low score_ist!

Detroit v. Memphis I hate defense, unless it’s really really good defense and these teams look to show off the D. Memphis is a benchmark for defense with Gasol, Prince, and yes Ed Davis but Detroit (broke city) is ready to resume it’s bad boy stance with Monroe/Drummond/Smith…I’d be scarred sh!tless going trying to go in the paint on either of these teams…I really would.

Rookie set to kick Anderson Varejao’s ass in an awful hair contest

Kelly Olynyk. Nuff said.

Team who had the least impressive offseason

Tough one, Spurs are always pretty drab, but the Bucks really tried hard by losing Monta and trading Jennings…so it’s a tie? I guess? Never mind just remembered that Phoenix was still in the league. Phoenix.

First coach to get fired

Mike D’antoni, goodbye Pringles man. As far as ruining historic franchises I’m pretty sure your reign of terror is over.

2013-2014 flattest top

Nerlens Noel, sorry Shump

First player to do something stupid

It’s really hard not to pick J.R. Smith, however, I’m pretty sure DeMarcus Cousins just hired Isaiah Ryder as a life coach so I’m going with Cousins. Nice max signing Sacto…(bits thumb)

Will Kevin Love ask for a trade this year?

Yes, and it’s ok Wolves…you’ll actually get better.

Best job making it look like they’re not tanking for Wiggins

Lakers. At first I thought ok seems a little strange that they’re adding Jordan Farmar…then Wesley Johnson, then I full on knew they were tanking when they added Nick Young. Nice try Kupchak I’m on to you!

Playoff finals no one wants to see

Miami v. Miami Sure it’s not possible, or is it? Cause if it is I’m out.

I’m out

 

 

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More! Advice time with KG and Honey Boo Boo Child

KG&HBB2

It’s that time again…the holidays! We at i8theball know that the holidays is a special time of the year, when people start really fucking with each other. That’s why the holidays are a wonderful time to seek the advise of those whom can impart sage words of wisdom…and who better than our Monday advice columnist Kevin Garnett and Honey Boo Boo Child. If you missed it this was they had to say last time – Click me! 

Let’s see what our readers problems are:

 

Dear KG and Boo

Christmas is coming. My in-laws promised our children a trip to Disney as a Christmas present for the past two years. It never materialized. They kept putting the kids off. I noticed they didn’t put off any of their trips to Vegas or Florida, though. They just mailed us a note saying they are giving the children a trip to Disney this year. Should I tell the children, they are 9 and 13?

KG – The hyena, when they go for the kill, they eat in packs. And that’s how we’ve got to do it. We’ve gotta go out there, have each other’s backs, play for each other, make the right plays and be on the same page.

HBBC – I’m so excited I’m about to piss all over myself!

KG – Do it! Impossible is possible!

(*editors note – We’ve learned a trick or two since we first paired these loveable lunatics. We no longer have a buffet table, and there is a lot of soft toys to punch and bite the heads off, as well the floor is made of a special type of rubber that repels urine, feces, and nonsensical profanity laces tirades.)

Anyways, who got next?

From Justin,

I am 16 years old. I met a girl who seems to like me. But when I asked her out she said she is sort of involved but didn’t want to talk about it. Recently I heard from her friends that she might be available now. I called. She said she gave me the same non-answer. Except now she has been really nice to me and calls me quite a bit. Am I just a back up option or is she interested?

KG – Timing is everything, and chemistry isn’t something that you just don’t throw in the frying pan and mix it up with another something, and throw something on top of that, and then fry it up, put it in a tortilla, put it in the microwave, heat it up and give it to you, and expect it to taste good. For those who can cook, y’all know what I’m talking about. If y’all don’t know what I’m talking about and can’t cook, then this doesn’t concern you!

HBBC – If you’re a champion, you’re still a winner. I’m making up a song in my head and I’m dancing to it.

KG – Sing the song! We Hyenas!

HBBC – This life jacket makes me look like a chunky lemon!

KG – Take that Craig Sager!

(*editors notes – Have we ever mentioned that this segment is on a strict 6 minute timer…they tend to lose focus, and that’s when the handlers need to be brought it)

Kevin Garnett and Honey Boo Boo Child Everyone!

@i8theball